This is one of the first horror movies that I liked when I was a kid!
From IMDB:
House 1986
IMDB https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091223/
“A troubled writer moves into a haunted house after inheriting it from his aunt.”
Directed by Steve Miner
Story by Fred Dekker
Screenplay by Ethan Wiley
Our movie this week starts off with a sunny pleasant day with ominous music while the cliché young dude delivering groceries walks into the house after no one answers the door. As he goes upstairs, he notices some artwork on the wall and calls it “sick”.
He continues through the house only to find dead ass aunty (Susan French) a swingin’ from the rafters.
It’s just a prank bro!
With that out of the way, we now introduce main character Roger Cobb (William Katt ) at the funeral. He is a book writer that is having trouble putting out something new. He has his publisher and his fans up his ass to write a new book and everyone seems less than enthusiastic about his book’s topic: his time in Nam. He takes a minute to answer a phone call from his ex-wife Sandy (Kay Lenz) giving us exposition that she is concerned about him and that he is having issues that he is dealing with.
After having a restless night, he goes back to the house where is aunt died where it is being sold by Craven Real Estate.
While touring the house he has a flashback to when his son, Jimmy (Played by Erik Silver and Mark Silver), disappears thus revealing one of the issues eating at him. Roger decides he will stay a bit to do some work and to no doubt also look for Jimmy. That night he has an encounter with his deceased aunt telling him to leave the house before it kills him too. After turning on all of the lights he heads to bed. The next morning he meets his neighbors Harold (George Wendt ) and Tanya (Mary Stavin). Harold recognizes Roger as an author that he likes and asks to have his book autographed.
Roger gets back to work on his book reminiscing about his time with Joker, Cowboy, and Snowball. We are introduced to Ben played by Richard Moll one of the scariest mother fuckers of 80’s movies. Apparently he has a screw loose but he and Roger are buds.
Roger is interrupted again by something upstairs and takes a look in the closet only to find nothing. He begins to walk away until the clock strikes midnight, he turns around and opens the door only to have a monstrosity reach out to grab him. He is able to push the monster back while suffering a wound to the chest.
The next morning Roger decides he is going to attempt to capture the critter on film and buys a bunch of gear. Just as he is going to open the door at midnight, Harold pops in and interrupts Roger surprising him with late night take out. Over midnight chow, Harold becomes concerned over Roger’s state of mind and steals his address book. When he gets back to his place, he calls Sandy to fill her in on everything. Meanwhile Roger goes back to working on his book. Again he starts to become overloaded with emotion and stops to take a break from writing when he notices the big ass stuffed fish on the wall is staring at him as it begins to flop on the wall mount. He runs out of the house and into the shed to grab a shotgun where he is chased out by the garden tools. He gets back into the house and shoots the stuffed fish and covers it up. While looking at the damage he has done, he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door only to find that the tools have escaped the shed and are here to finish the job. They chase him though the house until he is able to get them stuck in a room where apparently they forgot how to open doors.
The next morning he gets a visit by Sandy. Roger lets his guard down for a second when surprise! Purple monster lady –
He shoots her and then thinks he sees Sandy dead. Harold is wakes up to the sound of the shotgun and calls the police. Soon after Roger convinces the police that everything is OK he goes back to figure out what to do with Sandy only to find she is gone and what a surprise, it’s the purple monster lady again but this time she has the shotgun. They give a quick chase throughout the house until she meets a grizzly decapitation via the haunted garden tools. This gives way to a montage of Roger burying the body. At the end of said montage his neighbor Tanya is in the pool and coming on a tad strong. Later on she brings her kid, Robert (played by Robert Joseph), over for Roger to babysit and won’t take no for an answer. Saddled with kid duty, Roger goes back to working on his book and gets to the part when Ben gets wounded. This causes him to take a break and check in on Robert just in time to see him almost abducted by a couple of trolls. After rescuing him, mom comes back to pick up her crotch fruit and never returns!
Late that night, Roger lures Harold back over to prove there is a monster in the closet. Harold still in disbelief humors Roger but when the clock strikes 12 and that monster comes out, he about shits himself in fear. Harold pulls himself together and harpoons it, and conveniently enough the line loops on Roger’s foot where he is dragged back to when Ben was wounded. He begs for Roger to kill him, but overloaded by emotion he can’t and he runs off to get help. Ben screams in the background, I will get you for this etc. No wonder why Roger has issues, he has Viet Cong living in his closet.
He manages to escape and finds Harold passed out. Roger gets him home and has an epiphany about his son. He takes a look at one of his aunt’s unfinished paintings where realizes his kid might be in the bathroom mirror. He knocks out the glass to reveal a void and attempts to go down on a rope. On his way down a winged deadite shoots Roger’s rope causing him to plummet into a body of water below.
He swims to the shore and finds Jimmy in a cage where he frees him all the while a mysterious dark figure begins to shoot at them. They swim back home appearing in the pool only to be ambushed by Dead Ben as they try to leave the house.
Another chase ensues while Dead Ben says some pretty funny one liners. After a chase Roger almost gets away but then hears Jimmy calling him back into the house. He finds his son being held hostage by Dead Ben as he threatens to kill them both. Roger, in a moment of supreme papa bear emotion, reaches out to take Jimmy from Ben only to have is hand cut. Its then he realizes that his hand is indeed fine and he learns the secret about the house’s power. He proclaims power over the house, takes one of Ben’s grenades and stuffs it under his rib cage blowing him to pieces. The house catches fire and Roger walks out triumphantly with Jimmy with surprise, the ex is there! Happy ending to be had by all, except everything Roger owns (including his book) burns up with the house and he is still a divorcee.
[yasr_overall_rating size=”medium”]
The movie itself is fairly cohesive and the effects were not bad for the time. I have to ask though, if Roger had to go through this portal to go back to that moment to set all of this stuff into motion, how in the hell did it happen in the first place? If he had chosen to kill Ben then, would that have reverse- oh dear God I have gone cross-eyed. Never mind, the point is I still enjoy watching this movie to this day despite its plot holes and disappearing characters. I can definitely see where it got some influence from and how it influenced future movies. Corny, yet fun I give this 3 purple monster ladies out of 5.
